Not ready to share the podge with the world

So after getting my 4 year old to take my bodyblitz photos because I am too embarrassed to get my husband to do it - that was a sure sign that I wasn't ready to share those photos with the world.

After looking at them in shame, I could not bring myself to go through with the challenge,  already a failure hey

Well it has triggered something.... I cannot get those images out of my head - every time I was hungry today those images were in my head - they are in my head now and I could write a novel of excuses, try a million different things but these photo's are going to get me to my goal weight - I know it, more than ive ever known before.

I believe that the challenge stood out to me for this reason, and it will be part of my story on how I beat the podge.

The new podgy plan

After having the weekend to ponder on my previous past posts I'm jumping right into it with a few ideas to try, and what do u know? it just happens to be Monday !!  my most favorite day to start a healthy lifestyle (cos diet is a bad word apparently)

I've already conquered my first hurdle and that was telling the husband I'm going back to the gym tomorrow - not that he won't support me its just life is particularly hard for him at the moment and me going to the gym may add to this but I'm only committing to 3 nights so far -  Tuesday Wednesday Thursday- and on a promise the kids will be sorted by the time he gets home from work ie feed bathed - I'm such a good wife

My next plan or commitment you might call it is I'm going to join the body blitz challenge thru womans health and fitness magazine,  so off to the shops I went today to purchase my newspaper and take a horrendous photo of myself - making myself accountable - pretty good hey

As for fooood I love food dam it - I'm mixing it up between counting calories, fasting days (from the 2/5 diet) and protien days.  So this week is a tester of Monday fasting, Tuesday and Wednesday calorie counting and Thursday protein-  the rest of the week is also calorie counting.

Hoping to stay on track 100% especially with the bodyblitz challenge but knowing myself ill have bad days, so at least then I'll have back up if I do have a bad day.

What do u think ? A recipe for success or disaster ........

The podge is back

I have just downloaded the blogger app to my phone and whoala my blog no more podgy meggs that I started 4 years ago, is all there !! So I've just finished reading every post and man I have not changed one bit cos here I am at 105kgs with a 4 year old and a nearly 6 week old - my boys

Now there's no excuses for being this weight again but I have just had a baby after 5 miscarriages after having my first son I'm giving myself some slack - I'm still none the wiser when it comes to losing the weight but I'm still just as determined to lose it especially since I'm not having any more children, completely blessed with my boys and given my history of miscarriages (9 in total) I'm not putting myself and my body through that again and my husband and i are completely happy with our two boys.

So the only difference is that - every time I would lose weight in the past I would get pregnant which then lead me on this self destruction path as I would then miscarry and the weight would pile back on. So here's to losing weight and keeping it off.

I'm 38 years old I'm happy in my job, my love and my life so my weight is my final box to tick and I'm going to conquer this by my 40th birthday

The plan? Well I have been doing the protein eating for 2 weeks now and have started walking I've lost 2kgs so I was 107kgs but if anything I have learnt from the past is I can't deprive myself of specific things as I end up having a massive binge session which actually happened yesterday.

I was hungry yesterday and in the end after fighting and fighting it my brain went into this totally do not give a fuck mindset and I went crazy just eating every thing I had deprived myself of in the last two weeks

One thing is for sure I need to go back to the gym as that really puts me in the right head space and if I do go off the rails I've at least done the exercise to compensate for it

As for eating I'm going to try not over complicate things I'm going to calorie count thanks to the my fitness pal app (love it) and my new fitbit flex - I'm allowing myself raw sugar in my coffee but 4 tsps a day max - a slice of toast for breaky - a peice of dark chocolate per day, these are the 3 things I crave so by allowing myself to have them daily in moderation it should reduce my binge eating sessions

Will it stop me binge eating?  I don't think so at first but I'm hoping eventually I won't even think about it

I could go on and on right now in detail believe me but after spending all morning reading and now writing this blog it's time for me to  get off my ass and take my boys out in the sunshine, go for a walk, and start my new journey !!