Rapid loss challenge

I've done it, I'm doing it, I'm doing the rapid loss challenge!!

What is this ? So unlike me to get sucked into a challenge hey, well it all started when I went out for a work dinner for my husband - all dressed up (I even wore small heels ) I felt good that was until I seen photos of myself - awful, horrendous, embarrassed

So I had seen the rapid loss challenge on TV and was planning on giving it a go (I may have mentioned it, I can't remember) anyway so this just sealed the deal, drastic action was needed

I haven't gone into this without thinking or knowing what I'm like, so I trialed it - I started the very next day after that blasted dinner and I've been on it for 11 days now have lost 2.5kgs and although it's the WORST time of the year to do this, 2 days ago I signed the deal, I joined the challenge for real - name, digits and...... horrendous photo.

But I figure it's now or never and I've already done the hard yards being getting thru the first week. I can't go back to that and start again, I just won't do it, I know it, so I have to keep going now, and I'm in this incredible head space that just knows I'm going to do this.

So excluding Xmas day and the 28th (family xmas)  I am committed to this challenge, I have 16 weeks or 109 days as of today to lose as much as possible, I want to lose at least 30kgs but I'm aiming for 35, there is prizes and money to be won and I won't lie wouldn't that be a awesome bonus, but I'm not holding my breath.

My main motivation is I'm going back to work in march and I want to walk through those doors a skinny bitch, because once I go back to work shits going to get only harder

I've even announced it on Facebook!! And shit ain't real till you put it on Facebook ;)

The podge is winning

So I'm at the end of one of my downers that's been on going for two weeks eating whatever mindless eating and I'm in a rut I know why I'm sick of it I'm over working my ass off for little results it's in the too hard basket atm motivation the lowest

So I needed a new plan and I needed it fast something catches my eye it's a challenge it's a challenge where u can win money it's shakes

I know

But knowing it's not the answer and it's not going to last it's drastic action which I need right now and if anything it will get me back on track drastic action

It's called rapid loss and the name says it all the challenge is 16 weeks and you can win money but I'll not hold my breath for that even though that would be a bonus

I guess the justification is that first two weeks is meal replacement then you can reduce it to snacks but being my timing is that it's Xmas day in exactly two weeks I'm thinking I'll be doing the two weeks again

Any hoo wish me luck!!

Gym crèche bitches

TI love my gym

And if it wasn't for its crèche facility I wouldn't go at all to tell you the truth. The crèche is the key to me being able to go everyday without having to rely on husband.

So I battled at first with taking Ollie because he was so young but it's also another reason why I take him now - he's in that easy stage where he just eats sleeps and poos so now is my Window of opportunity to try to lose as much as I can before the teething and constant need for entertainment sets in and before I have to go back to work - he doesn't know any different and it's for 1 hour tops.

So yesterday I was testing him out on a 10.30am class but I made the mistake of forgetting his dodo aka dummy which he doesn't always take away but helps to settle him and he was a bit grumpy when I got there but these were my words to the crèche carers. ....

I forgot his do do I'm so sorry but if you push him in the pram for a bit he might go to sleep - if not then you can feed him as he's due in about 45mins and if all else fails just come and get me

So they say no problem and off I go to my pump class

So imagine my surprise when I got back and they were like glaring at me - rocking my upset child in his pram they then proceeded to bully me into feeling bad by saying perhaps I shouldn't do classes and that he's always like this (which he's not I seriously have an angel child) so I say did you feed him?

Ah no they didn't - hello then he's fucking hungry which is reasonable to assume he's going to be upset if you don't feed him !!

I was furious

So I had a little rant to my cousin (who goes to the same gym and uses the same crèche) and after calming down I even found myself defending them as she wants me to give feedback to the gym, and my fear of confrontation.

My dilemma is a selfish one.  I don't want to screw with the woman who look after my kids so that I can still go to the gym - what if they are mean to them because I got them In trouble ? Who will know?  they are in a room separate to the gym it's not got cameras so how would I know -

So although I promised my cousin I would write an email and I rarely go back on promises I want to give them a second chance and if they piss me off again then that's it I'll unleash but for now I choose to avoid them lol

Podgy burning machine

Since my last depressing post about my big fat failure I'm happy to say I'm back!! Back in the podgy burning game - the head space is switched on and I've somehow managed to burn nearly 2kgs in 2 days !! This brings me back to my original loss weight of 103.1kgs and it's like the failure never happened lol (it's okay I'm not in denial I owned my failure)

So how have I done this you say ? Well I have literally worked my ass off and have eaten very little - Monday I had a protein day but still walked for an hour and did rpm - rpm is what switched the trigger in my head to get me back in the game.
Yesterday I did combat, went out for lunch but only had a salad then did another hour walk in the evening and didn't end up having dinner - I seriously wasn't hungry though so no point wasting calories right ;)

My goal is to get to the 100kgs mark before my dirty anniversary weekend away which is in exactly 10 days so I'm super focused on this and feel like it's achievable

From then on ...well watch this space

My big fat fail

I was in the best head space -like I'm talking, walking and going to the gym and keeping to 1200 calories eating healthy and wanting too - my every though was how I could lose more, exercise more and then BOOM

I got sick

Like really sick, most sick I've been in a long long time

And since then my head space has turned to shit and I cannot get it back!!

It was like I was being tested and I failed big time

So it's been two weeks since I was sick and today (which just happens to be a monday of course) I'm starting again

Starting again after eating all the badness you could think off, this included a Chinese this included hungry jacks and even a KFC t- countless mindless snacking on anything I could get my hands on and very minimum exercise

On the bright side I did do some exercise still and I did throw in a few healthy meals and snacks but I'm pretty sure the bad out weighed the good

I haven't yet weighed myself I'm too scared of the damage I've done - I was 103.7 I think

I'll go weigh myself right now even though I've had a coffee it's time to take accountability

Okay it's bad I'm basically back to where I started 105.2 I'm such an idiot

Ive given myself a minute to kick myself and feel sorry for myself but there is no point dwelling on what's been done I have to move forward I have to try again I cannot and will not stay at this weight for the rest of my life

New plan - protein day today and I'm taking my boys to the park for a walk and to feed the Ducks and if my husband gets home in time I'll go to the gym later on today - not buying any more crap for this house my boys will just have to go without

Here I go again

Sick podge

Seriously am I being tested? not only 24 hours after writing my last post (even though ive only jist posted it i actually wrote it last thursday) did I become so sick I can't remember being that sick, which would put it in the category of one of the worst times I've ever been sick ever

Also one of the lowest points having both children in the bathroom while I was hurling but glad to report 3 days later I'm on the menu but boy what a nightmare that was

On the bright side I haven't eaten anything for 2 days so would of lost at least a kg right?  Well I haven't tested that theory yet but in saying that I have my appetite back and it don't want no salad - the I'm sick excuses r rolling in thick and fast

So going to give myself at least a week away from gym and I'm really going to try to not go mad in the food department, the test begins!! 

This podge is on fire

So the past two weeks I have been on fire!!  During the week I have been walking everyday - I try to find a reason to walk weather it's just taking the boys to the park or beach or even max to child care and the weather has been cracking for it too - it's been making me feel empowered and that I'm making the most of my maternity leave and the sunshine.

I've also been going to the gym at night too so needless to say I weighted myself on Wednesday and I'm at 103.9 so I've lost about 2kg being that I went back to 106 on the weekend my brother was here.

Not only have I been extremely active but food wise I've been kicking goals too hoping I stay in this mode forever!! 

No pain no podgy

It's been a busy week hence why I haven't posted for a while - where did I leave off ? Well my brother his wife and 6mth old came to stay over the weekend which was awesome, hectic, crazy, wonderful, and tiring all rolled into one - oh and diet went out the window

So then I should of jumped right back into it on Monday right ? Nooo  well I started off well, then tiredness took its hold and I gave up by the arvo - but I did learn that tiredness, leaving myself to be too hungry and boredom are my binge triggers and I need to try to avoid these triggers as much as I can and when I can't  something i need to try next time is to force myself to leave the kitchen ? Worth a try - if I'm not in the kitchen I can't eat

So feeling down and depressed, I was too meet my friend for a morning coffee and suggested we walk which was about 30mins each way but boy did it help !! The walking and a good old vent to a friend renewed my mojo and I proceeded to go to body combat that night.

Since then I've been walking in the mornings and doing my gym class at night and been keeping to the diet - and man am I sore so so sore but I'm back in the right head space thank goodness and each day I have planned a walk and a gym class - today I'm walking to the shops from maxs child care and tonight I'm doing rpm (bring on the sore fanny)

My mum is  coming to stay the night so I'll get a catch up on some sleep and housework which only helps with the podgy daily fight

It's now the end of the week and I've managed to do 4 gym classes this week eaten majority healthy which includes buying my husband KFC while I made myself a stir fry! ! Winning :)

Really want to take a moment to thank my awesome gym it's called zone and has a great crèche facility to which I wouldn't be able to do any of this without it and the great staff there

It's the weekend now so no gym but a test on how I will go food wise I have one obstacle a kids b day party today but I think I'm prepared and in the right head space soooooo. ..........

Watch this space

Good podge bad podge

You know like good cop bad cop, well yesterday I was bad cop, today good cop !! Yesterday I had a spiraling downward slope to bingville and it all started with a headache, which then lead to not going to gym, which then lead to not beinv organised for dinner, which then lead to starving hunger, which of course led to a binge session !!!

But alas once again (and the evil thoughts were there) I turned it around today and have been super good been to the gym and have a new plan

Evil thoughts wanted me to continue the binge until the weekend was over as my brother and family r coming to stay with me so there will be badness but instead I counted calories today kept to my quota and went to rpm - first rpm class in like a year !!

I'm feeling re motivated as I've Decided to try go to the gym everyday in the week at 5.30pm I've devised a plan that means I've changed ollies feeding times to Co operate with him getting a feed straight before I put him in gym crèche which means he should sleep while I'm in my class or at least be full and happy.  This means I no longer gave to rely on the husband which eliminates excuses not to go and as long as I'm organized this plan should work

This also means I am covered for my bingville days because once I'm in that mindset I cannot talk myself out of it - believe me I've tried

Surprised and not surprised

So the weekend was coming I had healthy snacks ready to go I had my contribution to the bbq a nice healthy salad.

Then I got a wonderful surprise - my little brother, his wife and my georgous neice live in Perth and as I turned up to my parents house - there they were !!  Best surprise ever

Then comes the not surprised component - everything went out the Window, the weekend was filled with food food and more food and alcohol

I was also extremely emotional this weekend because of my girl things but not using any of these as an excuse I take full responsibility for my actions and today was a new day

Let's face it stuff like this is going to happen especially to me so as long as I'm chopping away at the weight then I can relax a little. I need to stop trying to rush the process so that I can be bad on social occasions and not feel guilty about it.

Secretly weighed myself though and I'm back to 105 just have to make sure I've lost this and a little more by next week and I did start by having a protien day and went to the gym and I need to utilize the semi naked photos again,  put the visual back in my head  sooooo

Just got to keep on trucking

Proud Podge Pumping

I'm proud of me today, I could of gone on a continuous binge leading into a weekend of badness because I had a bad day yesterday. Instead I made today a fasting day since yesterday's attempt was a failure AND I went and did pump !!

It was only a 30 min class but first pump class since before i was pregnant with Ollie, im going to be hurting this weekend!!

It was also a tester as put both boys in the gym creshe for the first time and it went great. So means I can utilize this more and not have to rely on the husband as much, I'm already changing it to just two nights a week where he has to look after them and instead I'll go in the mornings with creshe for the others.

Winning

Clean slate

I've just deleted all my previous posts!! They were weighing me down, I kept looking at them knowing of all the failures I had inside them.

I deleted all my previous posts except for the first one just to remind me I have been here before and that I don't want to go back there again, so I'm giving myself a clean slate, a fresh start hopefully for the last time.

So yesterday was frustrating.  I had a few hurdles, I started off well, I was making yesterday a fasting day and was on track. I had just done grocery shopping and was making this noodle soup but I bought the wrong noodles and it was just wrong. This then lead me to snack cos I wasn't satisfied which led me to binge because I allowed myself the excuse ive got my girl things so I can give myself one day.

Then my husband was late getting home which then gave me the excuse not to go to gym and what should of been a day where I burned more calories than I consumed it was the opposite

But reality is this is going to happen, my day to day life can change quickly with a 4 year old and a 6 week old and what I realized yesterday is that I need to slow it down stop trying to lose too much too soon and tomorrow is another day which just happens to be today

So today I'm back on track and making up for yesterday so today is fasting day and I'm going to do a 30 min pump class and try ollie in the gym creshe for the first time

I can have my cake and eat it too

Weigh in Wednesday

I lost 1 kg !! That is all

As if that's it lol, good day, my little ollie had his first shots today and he was good as gold, my little trouper.  I have been good food wise. Little bit more snacky today, im looking to have a pre workout snack as I don't eat dinner until I have finished gym which is at 9 pm so it's extra calories. Yesterday I had grilled fish and that worked well but can't see myself grilling fish everyday so thinking of a protien bar below 100 calories.

I definitely need to make sure I have milk especially after dinner as tonight I couldn't have my usual no sugar hot choc because I've run out of milk so I was looking for something and ended up eating some cooking choc (desperado)!! The hot choc definitely curbs this craving (ive had all my life) to have something sweet after dinner and the milk fills me up so I don't look for anything for the rest of the night.

I also gave myself the excuse ive just done a gym class (body combat) burnt 450 calories, and that I'm having a fasting  day tomorrow, so i can have this bit of chocolate right ? WRONG podge
, i don't want to fall into this trap I'd rather still be in my allowable calories no matter what I've done or going to do.

So yeah im having a fasting day tomorrow eek

Dancing the podge away

My first night back at gym and it was great!! I did a jam class (which is like a dance class) and I did good, burnt 500 calories, better than I thought, and it felt great to be back, it made me feel empowered, that's until the pain sets in!!

Been a good girl today, I had lunch with some girlfriends and I opted for a beetroot salad which I enjoyed. I haven't snacked much at all today which has made a big difference to my calorie count but in saying that I haven't been hungry as much as I usually am hmmmmm.

This could be because of two things, my fasting day has made a dent in my appetite (not likely) or I'm going to get my girl things which means this is just the calm before the storm!! And being my first girl things since the birth of my son it's most likely going to be a doosie.  So this means I need to work hard over the next few days so that if I crash then I'm covered but  going to try my hardest not to.

Watched a show tonight of 5 woman getting style makeovers and it made me think of the clothes I can't wait to wear - all helps with the motivation at the moment which is at an all time high, those podgy images are still clear in my mind.

Also need to think of a low calorie midnight snack as when I'm up at the wee hours feeding ollie I do look for food- it helps wake me up.  I don't want a coffee at that time as I want to go back to sleep asap so need too think of something that's easy to grab - any suggestions? 

Not ready to share the podge with the world

So after getting my 4 year old to take my bodyblitz photos because I am too embarrassed to get my husband to do it - that was a sure sign that I wasn't ready to share those photos with the world.

After looking at them in shame, I could not bring myself to go through with the challenge,  already a failure hey

Well it has triggered something.... I cannot get those images out of my head - every time I was hungry today those images were in my head - they are in my head now and I could write a novel of excuses, try a million different things but these photo's are going to get me to my goal weight - I know it, more than ive ever known before.

I believe that the challenge stood out to me for this reason, and it will be part of my story on how I beat the podge.

The new podgy plan

After having the weekend to ponder on my previous past posts I'm jumping right into it with a few ideas to try, and what do u know? it just happens to be Monday !!  my most favorite day to start a healthy lifestyle (cos diet is a bad word apparently)

I've already conquered my first hurdle and that was telling the husband I'm going back to the gym tomorrow - not that he won't support me its just life is particularly hard for him at the moment and me going to the gym may add to this but I'm only committing to 3 nights so far -  Tuesday Wednesday Thursday- and on a promise the kids will be sorted by the time he gets home from work ie feed bathed - I'm such a good wife

My next plan or commitment you might call it is I'm going to join the body blitz challenge thru womans health and fitness magazine,  so off to the shops I went today to purchase my newspaper and take a horrendous photo of myself - making myself accountable - pretty good hey

As for fooood I love food dam it - I'm mixing it up between counting calories, fasting days (from the 2/5 diet) and protien days.  So this week is a tester of Monday fasting, Tuesday and Wednesday calorie counting and Thursday protein-  the rest of the week is also calorie counting.

Hoping to stay on track 100% especially with the bodyblitz challenge but knowing myself ill have bad days, so at least then I'll have back up if I do have a bad day.

What do u think ? A recipe for success or disaster ........

The podge is back

I have just downloaded the blogger app to my phone and whoala my blog no more podgy meggs that I started 4 years ago, is all there !! So I've just finished reading every post and man I have not changed one bit cos here I am at 105kgs with a 4 year old and a nearly 6 week old - my boys

Now there's no excuses for being this weight again but I have just had a baby after 5 miscarriages after having my first son I'm giving myself some slack - I'm still none the wiser when it comes to losing the weight but I'm still just as determined to lose it especially since I'm not having any more children, completely blessed with my boys and given my history of miscarriages (9 in total) I'm not putting myself and my body through that again and my husband and i are completely happy with our two boys.

So the only difference is that - every time I would lose weight in the past I would get pregnant which then lead me on this self destruction path as I would then miscarry and the weight would pile back on. So here's to losing weight and keeping it off.

I'm 38 years old I'm happy in my job, my love and my life so my weight is my final box to tick and I'm going to conquer this by my 40th birthday

The plan? Well I have been doing the protein eating for 2 weeks now and have started walking I've lost 2kgs so I was 107kgs but if anything I have learnt from the past is I can't deprive myself of specific things as I end up having a massive binge session which actually happened yesterday.

I was hungry yesterday and in the end after fighting and fighting it my brain went into this totally do not give a fuck mindset and I went crazy just eating every thing I had deprived myself of in the last two weeks

One thing is for sure I need to go back to the gym as that really puts me in the right head space and if I do go off the rails I've at least done the exercise to compensate for it

As for eating I'm going to try not over complicate things I'm going to calorie count thanks to the my fitness pal app (love it) and my new fitbit flex - I'm allowing myself raw sugar in my coffee but 4 tsps a day max - a slice of toast for breaky - a peice of dark chocolate per day, these are the 3 things I crave so by allowing myself to have them daily in moderation it should reduce my binge eating sessions

Will it stop me binge eating?  I don't think so at first but I'm hoping eventually I won't even think about it

I could go on and on right now in detail believe me but after spending all morning reading and now writing this blog it's time for me to  get off my ass and take my boys out in the sunshine, go for a walk, and start my new journey !!