My big fat fail

I was in the best head space -like I'm talking, walking and going to the gym and keeping to 1200 calories eating healthy and wanting too - my every though was how I could lose more, exercise more and then BOOM

I got sick

Like really sick, most sick I've been in a long long time

And since then my head space has turned to shit and I cannot get it back!!

It was like I was being tested and I failed big time

So it's been two weeks since I was sick and today (which just happens to be a monday of course) I'm starting again

Starting again after eating all the badness you could think off, this included a Chinese this included hungry jacks and even a KFC t- countless mindless snacking on anything I could get my hands on and very minimum exercise

On the bright side I did do some exercise still and I did throw in a few healthy meals and snacks but I'm pretty sure the bad out weighed the good

I haven't yet weighed myself I'm too scared of the damage I've done - I was 103.7 I think

I'll go weigh myself right now even though I've had a coffee it's time to take accountability

Okay it's bad I'm basically back to where I started 105.2 I'm such an idiot

Ive given myself a minute to kick myself and feel sorry for myself but there is no point dwelling on what's been done I have to move forward I have to try again I cannot and will not stay at this weight for the rest of my life

New plan - protein day today and I'm taking my boys to the park for a walk and to feed the Ducks and if my husband gets home in time I'll go to the gym later on today - not buying any more crap for this house my boys will just have to go without

Here I go again

Sick podge

Seriously am I being tested? not only 24 hours after writing my last post (even though ive only jist posted it i actually wrote it last thursday) did I become so sick I can't remember being that sick, which would put it in the category of one of the worst times I've ever been sick ever

Also one of the lowest points having both children in the bathroom while I was hurling but glad to report 3 days later I'm on the menu but boy what a nightmare that was

On the bright side I haven't eaten anything for 2 days so would of lost at least a kg right?  Well I haven't tested that theory yet but in saying that I have my appetite back and it don't want no salad - the I'm sick excuses r rolling in thick and fast

So going to give myself at least a week away from gym and I'm really going to try to not go mad in the food department, the test begins!! 

This podge is on fire

So the past two weeks I have been on fire!!  During the week I have been walking everyday - I try to find a reason to walk weather it's just taking the boys to the park or beach or even max to child care and the weather has been cracking for it too - it's been making me feel empowered and that I'm making the most of my maternity leave and the sunshine.

I've also been going to the gym at night too so needless to say I weighted myself on Wednesday and I'm at 103.9 so I've lost about 2kg being that I went back to 106 on the weekend my brother was here.

Not only have I been extremely active but food wise I've been kicking goals too hoping I stay in this mode forever!! 

No pain no podgy

It's been a busy week hence why I haven't posted for a while - where did I leave off ? Well my brother his wife and 6mth old came to stay over the weekend which was awesome, hectic, crazy, wonderful, and tiring all rolled into one - oh and diet went out the window

So then I should of jumped right back into it on Monday right ? Nooo  well I started off well, then tiredness took its hold and I gave up by the arvo - but I did learn that tiredness, leaving myself to be too hungry and boredom are my binge triggers and I need to try to avoid these triggers as much as I can and when I can't  something i need to try next time is to force myself to leave the kitchen ? Worth a try - if I'm not in the kitchen I can't eat

So feeling down and depressed, I was too meet my friend for a morning coffee and suggested we walk which was about 30mins each way but boy did it help !! The walking and a good old vent to a friend renewed my mojo and I proceeded to go to body combat that night.

Since then I've been walking in the mornings and doing my gym class at night and been keeping to the diet - and man am I sore so so sore but I'm back in the right head space thank goodness and each day I have planned a walk and a gym class - today I'm walking to the shops from maxs child care and tonight I'm doing rpm (bring on the sore fanny)

My mum is  coming to stay the night so I'll get a catch up on some sleep and housework which only helps with the podgy daily fight

It's now the end of the week and I've managed to do 4 gym classes this week eaten majority healthy which includes buying my husband KFC while I made myself a stir fry! ! Winning :)

Really want to take a moment to thank my awesome gym it's called zone and has a great crèche facility to which I wouldn't be able to do any of this without it and the great staff there

It's the weekend now so no gym but a test on how I will go food wise I have one obstacle a kids b day party today but I think I'm prepared and in the right head space soooooo. ..........

Watch this space

Good podge bad podge

You know like good cop bad cop, well yesterday I was bad cop, today good cop !! Yesterday I had a spiraling downward slope to bingville and it all started with a headache, which then lead to not going to gym, which then lead to not beinv organised for dinner, which then lead to starving hunger, which of course led to a binge session !!!

But alas once again (and the evil thoughts were there) I turned it around today and have been super good been to the gym and have a new plan

Evil thoughts wanted me to continue the binge until the weekend was over as my brother and family r coming to stay with me so there will be badness but instead I counted calories today kept to my quota and went to rpm - first rpm class in like a year !!

I'm feeling re motivated as I've Decided to try go to the gym everyday in the week at 5.30pm I've devised a plan that means I've changed ollies feeding times to Co operate with him getting a feed straight before I put him in gym crèche which means he should sleep while I'm in my class or at least be full and happy.  This means I no longer gave to rely on the husband which eliminates excuses not to go and as long as I'm organized this plan should work

This also means I am covered for my bingville days because once I'm in that mindset I cannot talk myself out of it - believe me I've tried

Surprised and not surprised

So the weekend was coming I had healthy snacks ready to go I had my contribution to the bbq a nice healthy salad.

Then I got a wonderful surprise - my little brother, his wife and my georgous neice live in Perth and as I turned up to my parents house - there they were !!  Best surprise ever

Then comes the not surprised component - everything went out the Window, the weekend was filled with food food and more food and alcohol

I was also extremely emotional this weekend because of my girl things but not using any of these as an excuse I take full responsibility for my actions and today was a new day

Let's face it stuff like this is going to happen especially to me so as long as I'm chopping away at the weight then I can relax a little. I need to stop trying to rush the process so that I can be bad on social occasions and not feel guilty about it.

Secretly weighed myself though and I'm back to 105 just have to make sure I've lost this and a little more by next week and I did start by having a protien day and went to the gym and I need to utilize the semi naked photos again,  put the visual back in my head  sooooo

Just got to keep on trucking

Proud Podge Pumping

I'm proud of me today, I could of gone on a continuous binge leading into a weekend of badness because I had a bad day yesterday. Instead I made today a fasting day since yesterday's attempt was a failure AND I went and did pump !!

It was only a 30 min class but first pump class since before i was pregnant with Ollie, im going to be hurting this weekend!!

It was also a tester as put both boys in the gym creshe for the first time and it went great. So means I can utilize this more and not have to rely on the husband as much, I'm already changing it to just two nights a week where he has to look after them and instead I'll go in the mornings with creshe for the others.

Winning